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How Witnessing to an Unbelieving Older Brother Changed Him

Updated: Aug 13

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In this post, we will learn how witnessing to an unbelieving older brother changed him. He still struggles but our relationship is dramatically improved.


I am posting a letter which demonstrates how you can change the conversation and relationship.

Witnessing to Unbelievers Can Be Daunting

Learning how to witness to an unbeliever can be daunting. There is the reality of our greatest fear being realized: rejection. Next, there exists a chance you may feel as if you may say the wrong thing.


Whatever your concern, it is traced by to FEAR.


I could point out the text teaching: “God does not give us the spirit of fear, but of sound mind as unto all the Saints,” but you know that, right? What you may not know is they are not rejecting you rather God.


Our witness of Jesus does not always have to be confrontational either. The Holy spirit often opens doors for us, yet we create damage on the other side.


Below is a letter I wrote a loved one many years ago. He was not only family, but also a Muslim. I post this, without identifying details, to demonstrate how to avoid unnecessary conversations, while introducing the love of Christ.


Be blessed!


How to Open Your Witness to the Lost

I opened my letter to my older brother below. I wanted him to remember me as the little brother who admired him as opposed to the now adult he was angry with. Enjoy!


-Begin Letter-


Greetings man! Someone passed on information indicating I was involved with inappropriate behavior. Whether true or not — I will let others determine.


I am not writing to either defend or explain accusations made against me. When I was a boy, I often became upset when someone spoke dreadful things about me.


In these moments, our mother always said: “Boy, they talked about Jesus so you think they won’t talk about you?”


Nevertheless, I thank the LORD that through these attacks, a door has been opened. This door isn’t opened for me to answer the schemes of the foolish. Before going there, I want to first apologize that those who go to church in our family, and who are surely involved, failed to represent the love of Jesus.


The Jesus I speak of is not HE these so-called ‘christians’ represent. Jesus made mention of these in Matthew 7:22-23 and every Christian should read this!


Put into a 21st century context, hypocrites will say: “But Jesus, didn’t we get dressed up and go to church every Sunday, give the pastor money, sing in the choir, and provide a nice house for our families?”


To them He will say: “get out of my face.” To you fake 'christians': nice guy jesus is a myth so please stop believing it and speaking this non-sense (lie) to others!


When our nephew was murdered, where were these family church people to provide comfort (not gossip and viciousness)? I am not, in secret, only saying this to you either.

This was said to the hundred or so people at the event we attended.


Let’s not spend any more time on these wicked lies! I am writing to tell you about our amazing mother.


When I look at the path which has led me to this point, along with her, I think of YOU.


Transparency is Key to Personal Witnessing

When witnessing to a loved one, you must be transparent and honest. In this portion of the letter, I shared something which my brother didn’t know.


-Continue Letter-


I once ran off because momma was being impossible even for her. Me working, going to school, doing chores, and getting descent grades did not seem enough to please her.


To this day, I am not sure why she turned on me. Things became so hostile towards me, I moved out approximately eighteen (18) months later before even graduating high school.


Fed up, I ran to my granny’s house one night. You called me and said: “You need to go on back home.” I responded: “momma won’t let up.” You came back with: “get home now. I will deal with this. Do not make me have to come and get you.”


I am sure you remember this conversation now, right?


I came back and you said to momma: “he is 16 and doing everything you told him to do. I am not going to GET him cause he ain’t done nothing. What else do you want from him momma? Tell him right now and I will make him do it!”


Afterwards, she let up and finally, I had room to breathe and think about what I would do at eighteen (18). I never thanked you for this but now I do! Although a small thing to most, this was among a small sample of things which brought me to where I am today.


That evening when you called and threatened me, I was set to run away and much further than granny’s house. Where would I be had this happened? I shudder to think!


Although I laugh about it now, there was only person I feared more than momma — YOU.


Remind Your Loved One How they Blessed You

Instead of trying to “defuse” these oft ugly family situations, point out how those involved in it have blessed you as I did below. Remember that you cannot rationalize with irrational people.


-Continue Letter-


At that moment, which held the ability to change my destiny, Jesus sent you to preserve me. Man, I can never repay you for that kindness.


You stuck up for me at a very vulnerable time in my young life. Destiny often hangs on such acts of kindness.


As for mother, and regardless of what anyone might say about her short comings, I, and my sister and brothers owe her our lives. Our blood family did not want. She, however, raised nine (9) children of her own, took four (4) more (together).


Terrible things, very terrible things were done to those children she took and raised as her own. Do you remember the state we were in when we arrived? Her love, often tough and unrelenting, is why I took such exception to the rumors which swirled about you recently.


To further explain, there was something I felt compelled to do only six (6) months after joining the Marine Corps. Being faced with the prospect of going to the Middle East (war) seemed to bring things into perspective for me.


First, I had never thanked our mother for all she had done for us.


I must have been the source of much heartache for her. While in Fort Sill, Oklahoma, I rode the bus home that winter. The trip took about 17 hours, so I had a lot of time to re-examine my first eighteen (18) years.


These long hours were well spent. It occurred to me that had it not been for her sacrifice, I would not stand amongst the world’s finest warriors now.


When I arrived home, I opened with: “I know I have not always done right, and I am sorry for causing you problems. You took us in, I repaid your kindness with moving back in with the very people who threw us away (my father). That was not right, and I promise I will never let you down again.”


When finished, I noticed tears in her eyes.


She responded: “I did the best I could with you kids, I just did the best I could.” As I got up to go back to Oklahoma, I said: “I’m going to make you proud and just know, what you did wasn’t wasted.”


This leads to the reason which much of the confusion within the family. There has never been, in all history, someone who has not fallen short of the Glory of God.


Our matriarch was no different.


Who among us has boasted about the remarkable things she did? By the grace of the LORD, in that room so many years ago, I made peace with her.


Have you and the others done likewise?


Close With Salvation Witnessing About Jesus Christ

In this last section of the letter, I took the opportunity to preach the good news of Jesus Christ. My brother was a Muslim and a militant one at that!


-End Letter-


Please, I am begging, whatever it is that keeps you and the others heading in a direction of destruction, talk to the LORD about it.


I cannot tell you how to make peace with momma’s memory. When our nephew was murdered, where were these family church people to provide comfort (not gossip and viciousness)? I am not, in secret, only saying this to you either.

This was said to the hundred or so people at the event we attended.


Let’s not spend any more time on these wicked lies! I am writing to tell you about our amazing mother.


When I look at the path which has led me to this point, along with her, I think of YOU.


Remind Your Loved One How they Blessed You

Instead of trying to “defuse” these oft ugly family situations, point out how those involved in it have blessed you as I did below.


-Continue Letter-


At that moment, which held the ability to change my destiny, Jesus sent you to preserve me. Man, I can never repay you for that kindness. You stuck up for me at a very vulnerable time in my young life.


Destiny often hangs on such acts of kindness.


As for momma, and regardless of what anyone might say about her short comings, I, and my sister and brothers owe her our lives. Our blood family did not want. She, however, raised nine (9) children of her own, took four (4) more (together).


Terrible things, very terrible things were done to those children she took and raised as her own. Do you remember the state we were in when we arrived?


Her love, often tough and unrelenting, is why I took such exception to the rumors which swirled about you recently.


To further explain, there was something I felt compelled to do only six (6) months after joining the Marine Corps. Being faced with the prospect of going to the Middle East (war) seemed to bring things into perspective for me.


First, I had never thanked our mother for all she had done for us. I must have been the source of much heartache for her. While in Fort Sill, Oklahoma, I rode the bus home that winter.


The trip took about 17 hours, so I had a lot of time to re-examine my first eighteen (18) years.


These long hours were well spent. It occurred to me that had it not been for her sacrifice, I would not stand amongst the world’s finest warriors now.


When I arrived home, I opened with: “I know I have not always done right, and I am sorry for causing you problems. You took us in, I repaid your kindness with moving back in with the very people who threw us away (my father). That was not right, and I promise I will never let you down again.”


When finished, I noticed tears in her eyes.


She responded: “I did the best I could with you kids, I just did the best I could.” As I got up to go back to Oklahoma, I said: “I’m going to make you proud and just know, what you did wasn’t wasted.”


This leads to the reason which much of the confusion within the family. There has never been, in all history, someone who has not fallen short of the Glory of God. Our matriarch was no different.


Who among us has boasted about the remarkable things she did? By the grace of the LORD, in that room so many years ago, I made peace with her.


Please, think not that I am looking down my nose — nothing is further from true. Should I now despise those who preserved me as a child? God forbid that such rank hypocrisy would flow from my mouth.


However this mess started, the source is more complex than a few people lying on me.

This confusion has its roots in family unforgiveness.


Seek HIM and know because the god that black religion serves is no god at all! Should any listen to and follow a god that only offers such confusion?


As it concerns false witnesses — if they are dishonest with the God of Israel, whom they claim to serve, could they be truthful with you?


Please seek Jesus Christ while “He may be found.”


Conclusion

Bible students will remember that often people would ask Jesus one question and He answered what seemed like another.


My older brother made it known he had a problem with something someone else told him. That person happened to be one of my sisters.


She was a master confusion causer up to, and even through the end of her life. However, what she said was unimportant to the cause of Jesus Christ. My brother needed to be encouraged away from attacking me.


At the same moment, however, he had to be confronted with the gospel. I point this out because you must refrain from conversations, and confrontations with loved ones which have no kingdom value.


The fact is, his mother, and later our mother, took in four (4) children that were not hers.

My brother is still a Muslim. However, our relationship has been solid since I sent this letter years ago.


What opportunities has Jesus provided you to witness yet you were distracted by accusations?


Header Image Courtesy of Kay Smith @ Pexels

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